Racism

Growing up I was unaware of what it actually meant or how it can effect people, I only knew the litteral meaning of it. When I graduated and started working I started noticing that it was in a small way all around me. People would favor those who shared thier mother tongue or are from the same state as they are. It used to seem unethical and unfair but there was hardly anything one could do to stop it. It also started burshing off on me, I started developing an aversion towards not only those who did it but all those who were from thier state or spoke the same language. I would try hard not to show that side of me to anyone but it kept bubbling inside me and eventually come out.

I used to think the Holocaust  was a thing of the past and that the world has learnt the right lessons from it. But, I realized how wrong I was when in 20th century people were killed in the name of religion in a secular nation. I moved to the US I saw a totally different face of racism. People would kill each other in the name of it. It was no longer about where one is from or what language they spoke or what religion they belonged to, it was about the color of the skin. In a short span of time there were 3 brutal murders of innocents. Victims only fault was the color of their skin.

When did all this start? I kept wondering. I read on wiki that bible mentions that people with dark skin are considered to be cursed. Obviously some people took it too seriously and decided to ignore everything else. I guess there was nothing about killing them altogether.

Racism has different effects on people and the society. You killed one of ours so I will kill two of yours goes on in a vicious circle. I guess that at some level we are all racists but the extremity of it varies greatly and some manage to keep it under the sheets while others don't.

May be I was over thinking about all this but it suddenly occurred to me that I was subjected to racism when I was in high scool. I loved to participate in skits and dances and I am pretty sure I was good at it too. But, my art teacher would always tell me that I am not good enough and give away all the good roles n positions to this one girl in the class. Slowly many had given up trying but I kept working hard to improve and  kept trying all 4 years of my high school. I don't know how many days and nights i have spent wondering what was wrong with me. I used to feel so disheartened that my stomach used to hurt. I went on to college and gave up on it altogether.  Today I realized that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. The girl my art teached would select for the lead roles was from the same state as she was and that was it. I feel raged for all the nights I wasted worrying about it. I wanted to make a career out it and I probably could have if not for racism. I don't regret being what I am today but just thinking about what happened makes me sick. I wonder how many kids are out there going through the same thing.

When will all this stop? Why can't everyone realize that as human beings we are more similar than different? We can find 100 ways to differentiate one another but there are 1000 similarities for each difference. I hope everyone realizes this and makes the world a better place to live.

Shallow

Since when did we become so shallow,
Our heart and mind all so hollow.
The era of Twitter and Facebook,

has turned us all into a devious crook.

Whining and cribbing seeing others uploaded photo,

Making others Jealous probably was their sole motto.

We focus on places we haven't seen,

Clothes we haven't worn and things we haven't said,

And we forget about things we are thankful for.

Why aren't we satisfied with what we have?

Why aren't we happy for who we are?

Since when did we become so shallow,

Our heart and mind all so hollow.

Living life like its a rat race,

Makes life proceed in a very slow pace.

How many times have we taken a picture to keep to our-self?

How many times have we let the camera go and enjoyed the moment?

The illusion of capturing it all through the lens,

Tempts us to lose life's precious moments.

I too am guilty of committing this crime,

It may seem like my boring life is making me whine.

A lull period passes everyone's life,

What we feel now, they will feel tomorrow.

Although, that is not for us to bother.

Lets hope that we can overcome this sorrow.

Happiness is within us and its not something we can borrow.

Since when did we become so shallow,

Our heart and mind all so hollow.

Strange Encounter 2

A week ago I was travelling back to Dallas from Houston in the afternoon bus. It was due to a last minute change of plans that I had to take the bus. I reached the bus station 15 minutes before the departure and it was a holiday weekend so it was pretty crowded. The crowd did not give me a good feeling as I was travelling alone and a crowded bus meant no choice of seat. Luckily the scheduled bus was full and they had to arrange for an extra bus for the rest of us. This meant there were only 15-20 people in the new bus, it was a huge relief even though I had to wait for an extra 30 minutes for the bus to leave. 

I boarded the bus and chose a good seat. A man had smiled at me while I was waiting at the bus station and he happened to come into the same bus and sat right across my seat in the next section. We exchanged smiles again and the bus started moving. Within no time I had dozed off, thanks to my motion induced sleep. I got up after an hour and saw that we hadn’t even left Houston city limits. The roads were packed with cars and it was pouring cats and dogs. In the semi-sleep state I sat there cursing my fate and started staring out the window wondering how long it would take for me to reach home. I heard a voice say ‘Excuse-me’ I turned around. It was the same man. He said “Do you know how to put your seat back?” I said yes and started to explain how. Apparently he already knew how and was asking just to make sure I knew so that I could sleep comfortably. ‘Very sweet of him’ I thought to myself and told him that it wasn’t necessary and that I was just fine sleeping bending forward with my head on my knee. I tried going back to sleep, when I woke up I realized only 10 minutes had passed since my attempt to sleep.  After two and half agonizingly long hours we reached our mid-way stop where we would have some time to go out and get something to eat and drink. 

I was parched so I went out and got a bottle of water and some peanuts to munch on the way. This man came back few minutes after me and was walking around restlessly in the bus talking in Spanish to various people. I did not bother much and got busy eating my peanuts. He came to me after a while and asked me if he could use my phone to make a call. I gave it to him at once; I really had no second thoughts.  He called someone and spoke something in Spanish. From what I could make out he was informing someone about the delay in the bus schedule so that they wouldn’t have to wait in the bus station for long. It then occurred to me that I have got to inform my husband too. He gave the phone back to me and I immediately sent a message to my husband informing him the approximate arrival time. The bus driver was back in bus and he asked to see around and make sure all our neighbors are in bus to ensure we don’t leave anyone back. My only neighbor was this man who had just used my phone so I did not bother to spend more energy and got back to my peanuts, I offered him some but he politely declined it. A lady passed by us to go to the restroom and this man informed her that he finally could make the call from my phone and that lady said ‘God bless you’ to me and moved on. I was left wondering why.

An hour later I checked my phone and it had 2 unread messages. First one was from my husband acknowledging me and asking me to call when the bus reaches Dallas and second one was from the number this man had called asking whether he was still around. I replied to both the messages and starting gazing through the window, we were near Ennis. The landscapes and flora of Ennis is absolutely beautiful. Acers and Acers of land was covered with a browny red blanket of flowers called the Indian Blanket. It was just too beautiful to watch the farms of sunflower and the grass land covered with Indian blankets complementing the cloudy grey skies. Few minutes later I got a response from that number asking me to inform this man to call again. I dialed the number and gave my phone to this man again. He spoke and informed them that he was near Ennis and would be reaching in an hour to Dallas. He thanked me and started talking to me, he said that he was into construction of barns and he had constructed a huge barn and a stable for horses here in Ennis for someone. We just started talking about all generic stuff at first and then suddenly he said that he was returning from the Prison and that is why he doesn’t have a phone. I did not know how to react, I guess a thousand thoughts might have crossed my mind right then because I had never met/spoken or even directly seen a prisoner before. I did not want to offend him with my silence so I asked him the first thing that came to my mind “Why were you in the prison?”. He started his narration “I used to live in Dallas, working in a fire alarm inspection team for a private company. I also do some construction work on the side. Six months ago in a bad part of Dallas my car’s battery had gone off and I needed a jump start. I asked many but no one stopped their car. I finally got a man who agreed to help me jump start my car but demanded that I give me 10 bucks for that. I agreed as I had no choice, I went out and connected the wire from his car to mine and this man sat in my car to try and start my car. As soon as the car started he took off with my car. I called the cops immediately and informed them that he could not have gone far so they could nab him in the surrounding area. It was a new 2010 black Ford F150 whose loan wasn’t paid off.” I interrupted him to sympathize with him and asked whether insurance covered the loss. He said that insurances has a clause stating that if the car key is the ignition then they will not replace the car to the owner but just pay off the remaining amount of the loan to the bank. He expressing his frustration saying how can one jump start a car without leaving the key in the ignition. He makes a valid point I thought and asked him to continue. He continued “So now that I had lost my car and my money, I was on the lookout for a second hand cheap car. I found one and bought it, within 30 minutes of driving it off the dealer I was caught by the cops because it seems that I had just bought a stolen car. They asked me for the papers, I gave it to them and they told me that it was fake and arrested me. I told them that it was the dealer who had cheated me but they did not listen to me. In the court the judge asked me to name the dealer and give out his details. I did it promptly and then the judge ruled saying even though it wasn’t my fault I was getting six months imprisonment because during the arrest the car was in my possession.”  I told him how sorry I was that this happened to him and expressed my discontent with the police who failed to find his stolen car but arrested him for some other. He went on to tell me the mess the cops had created for him after his release “During his arrest the arresting officer asked him about his birth place and he said X city, New Mexico and the officer by knowingly or unknowingly wrote it as X City, Mexico and so soon after his release he was sent to the immigration department where he had to sort it out.  Sometimes when things go wrong they really go wrong from all sides. He went on to tell me about how his life changed because of this incident and that he had learnt a very simple lesson in a very expensive way. He said that he was going to start afresh in a new house with a new job. 

I felt really sorry for that guy and honestly I never had any doubts about whether this guy was lying. In the end to add to the adventure I already had, the bus driver lost his way and was heading in the wrong direction. All of us were unaware of it until this same guy realized it and went to guide the driver to the bus station. He saved us all a lot of time from the already long journey. As soon as the bus stopped at the stand this guy got down after me and vanished into the crowd, leaving me with my second strange encounter. I was dead tired from the journey but too excited to see my husband and tell him all about this man. Although I knew I am going to get the usual lecture “Be careful always and do not trust everyone. Why do you give your phone to strangers?” Well, It doesn’t matter now. I haven’t heard back from the cops and it’s been a week now so I guess I am not in any sort of trouble. Plus, I really did believe everything that man told me.  

Indians Abroad

What’s with the Indians in a foreign country, the so called NRIs? They don’t seem to miss a chance to undermine their native country. Do they forget they belong there? OR take pride in all the misdoings of their country? Is everyone like this or is this specific to the Indian gene?

This thought is provoked time and time again by many around me, but I always manage to suppress it. But, today’s incident had to be put down. We had a baby shower today for a colleague. He himself looks like a kid by the way and he is having a baby girl next month. So we all gathered around opened the gifts,  ate cake and pizzas, and it was then when an Indian out of nowhere uttered these words aloud to a fellow Indian “Isn’t it nice that here even before the baby is born people do all this stuff and in India nobody cares even after the baby is born”. There was a very uncomfortable silence in the crowd as am sure nobody knew how to react or what his point was.  I stood in a corner observing everyone’s reactions while trying hard to maintain my straight face while my disappointed face was fighting its way out. Why disappointed, because what he said wasn’t true. We in India had our versions of baby showers, the only difference was we made it ritualistic and gave it another name that’s all. Was he not aware of it? That’s not even a question because it’s impossible for an Indian to not know that. Anyways, People moved on to talk about other generic topics when the same person struck again. This time he said “In India we don’t get to know the gender of the baby until it is born”. Okay this made a little sense and this time people acknowledged him and joined in to say how surprised they were and how important it is for them to know the gender. Very little do they understand the consequences of revealing the child’s gender in India and that there is more to it than to just worry about shopping for appropriate stuffs for the baby before its birth.

Recently on CNN I had read this piece whose headline read “Women killed her mother-in-law to protect her unborn baby”. This wasn’t in India, this was in a country where they revealed the gender of the baby which made the mother-in-law very unhappy and she started forcing her daughter-in-law to have an abortion against her will. I guess it is not fair to assume that everyone read it or know about what happens in India when the gender of the baby is revealed before its birth. Well, there are many unwanted babies abortions happening all over the world, some Indians just tend to be disgustingly choosy when it comes to abortion. Anyways, let’s not go there.

Moving on, this wasn’t the first time I had heard such blatant accusations against India. In my short stint outside India I had come across many Indians who do not hesitate to blame India and its system for everything. The wildest thing I have heard from an Indian living abroad is this “The ambulance comes within minutes here; and in India people do not give a damn about a person’s life.” I cannot presumably post a good argument against it, because to some extent it may seem like that could be the fact. But, I always wonder how any country would perform with a population as huge as India. Would they still have everything in order and continue to perform as efficiently or breakdown and join in the chaos. One can only wonder.

I do to some extent agree that things are not perfect in India. But, is any country PERFECT perfect? I fail to understand the point of putting our dirty laundry out for display in front of total strangers. Are they trying too hard to blend in or am I trying too hard to not accept the reality?